Frustration
I am so frustrated right now that I can do anything to let it out on any living or non-living which comes my way.
Frustration no.1
BAIGHARAT QAUM YEH YAHOODI…I took 1 whole week & devotedly studied for my driving learners permit test. When I went today this is what happened
MISS XYZ “k I’ll just send u to station no. 5 for test but first give me ur green card”
ME “ don’t posses one”
“ur social security no.”
“ I am just here to give my learners permit & my mom came here few months back & she gave the test & further 3 months shes going to get a permanent license, u did not inquire anything as such. But I have my proof of residency..my visa & valid 194”
“ she previously had a learners permit from Salisbury & there is new rule which got in to effect last june that until u have a proof of permanent residence /citizenship you cant give ur test eitherpermit or license”
ME (completely depressed ) “when can u fix me the earliest appointment for the test here”
“ Sorry ma’am this is MVA (Maryland vehicle administration) office u need to call on this number & the number is very very busy & right now we are working on appointments fixed few months back..the earliest u can get is in march, but you can try getting earliest in February” ( AND THAT OLLO LADY SMILES)
I faked a smile & left with my mami & mom. Dil key kya turkey huwey gin bhi nahi saktey
Frustration no.2
MOM- I need not explain further
Frustration no.3
I went to Wor-Wic Collg for admission.
Wasted 1 hr in completing their formalities (admission forms) then..MISS XYZ “ u need to give 4 tests”
Me “ ok when..?”
MISS XYZ “ u can do it tom weekend or nxt week up to u”So admission bhi hawa mey latak raha hey
When I come back home strong words discussion on my carrer..agar tum dubai jao to kya lou gee..? Y don’t u do masters in education (teacher) field..?
Everyone pouring their thoughts & none listening to me..what happened then..? I excused my self & ran upstairs & cried my heart out in my prayer.
I have been doing istikharah past 2 months everyday believe me every day. I don’t know whats happening..where will I go..?
Frustartion no. 4
I see everyone working for religion & I am GADHI who is not. I haven’t started studying, I cant find ways to do work for my Sweetest Allah. I talked to kulsoom yesterday & she tells me how she is struggling with her studies but tolerates for she has chosen her career to help her deen. & last night I heard Junaid Jamsheds exclusive interview..call me crazy but he instilled so much passion for my deen in my mind.
I am going in circles, I start & return to the same spot. I am lost completely. HELP ME LORD I am desperate.
7 comments:
Aik baar dekho
hazar baar dekho
ye dil ki baat apni...
*agar EleKtra noez not* :P
heeheheh SEESTER.... do istikharah nd ask Allah;z help ..baqi sab bhul jao :D
soriee imeant *AGAY*
btw.. u ran upstairz... hehehe ye to filmi scene hogaya.. :P hehhee
Dear Friend,
Salaam. On reading your post, it can be inferred that u r quite exasperated coz things are not working the way you want. I hope u remember the hadith that a momin is one who struggles with the hardships and afflictions alongwith his religious duties. So this shows, ur a true Momin :). Jaani, as for ur driving license I dont think it'll be a problem if u do in Feb or March coz in just a few days we'll be stepping into Jan and din kaisay guzrengey, u wont even know. As far as your mom is concernced, you can manage that better urself by opting patience. I know it's not easy to say, but that's what we have to compromise when no one understands the situations we go through. And probably, our parents are much more ingenious and experienced than we are so they are doing for our good. Think of all the good stuff going on and erase the bad memories :).
If the uni ppl ask for a test, so wats the problem? I'm sure u'll ace Inshallah. Will be waiting for a response from you.
And coming to ur last 'so called frustration', again I wish to remind u that Allah ka kaam kabhi rukta nahi hai, hamesha jaari rehta hai. If ur not able to work now, who knows maybe in the next phase of ur life u'll serve urself so much that u cudnt have even imagined. This in itself is a big Jihad that uve gone there to serve God through your studies by keeping all religious aspects in mind.
So do not worry dear friend, for all of us are in a way or the other knitted with problems etc. Tawakkal 'Alallah and see the wonders He will do for his true believers.
Wassalam.
After the comment by anon. I have nothing more to add… everything was covered… I just want to say that I know that sometimes things are very difficult… and saying that everything will be alright hardly gives comfort at times… but all one can do is pray to Allah the Almighty for the best… I can relate with you more than I can actually explain and I will pray for you with all my heart!!!! =)
Taqabbal Al'ALLAH
(may Allah fulfil your prayers)
Khairan jaza siras & annon. I am in utmost need of support & courage.
Ameen to LuDa
dont be too hard on ur self
and dont give up
keep praying
may god bless u
ammeen
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